Book Review: Kiss Me Judas

A great mix of paranoia, noir suspense, and horror. Gets less and less comprehensible as the story goes on (alongside the narrator’s weakening sanity), sadly to a degree where the last ~50 pages lose quality on being incomprehensible at times.

Book Review: Catching Fire

I get the point of this book in the series, I really do. This is where the rebellion catches fire, where everything starts anew, and that is the real point of the book. The problem is that part is extremely hard to tell in a first person perspective from someone who’s not actually in the rebellion. As a result, we see the glimpses Katniss sees, spread out unevenly and without enough details to make it exciting or interesting. The first two halfs of the book are like this, which drags the score to a 4/5 down to a 3.

Then comes the games. While the last book’s hunger games section focused on survival in the wilderness and defense, these hunger games focus on active war between the contestants as well as creative deduction. The idea for the new hunger games is clever and interesting, and it cleared my worries that Catching Fire would just be a repetition of Hunger Games.

The ending comes off somewhat deus ex machina, but not to a degree where it spoils the plot. The ending and the cliffhanger are much less anticlimactic than in The Hunger Games, which is a big plus.

Book review: The Hunger Games

In short an amazing book, with some problems with deus ex machina at times. The very ending was a bit anti-climactic. Some really surprising twists and great characters. Strong female characters and the semi-lack of sexism is a huge plus.

My new book ”Home” available on Amazon

Amazon has now started selling my new book Home through their various websites (FranceGermanyIndiaItalySpainUKUSA). Unfortunately it is to expensive to buy it to Sweden due to the shipping costs, but for whoever lives outside of Sweden this is the best and cheapest way to get it at the moment.

Home will start selling in Sweden some time next week, and will cost 75 kr with 29 kr shipping. You can preorder it today by writing an email with your shipping address to

A story about obsession, hate, jealousy, love, pain, art, life, death, and the search for a never-ending, never-dying home. But most of all a story about Her.

”Home” is the 30-day memoirs of the search for closure, of the search for a home, of the end of something beautiful. A strange mix of poetry, short stories, biography and fiction.


Yet another ”Home” update

So it is now all finalised – the second edition of my book ”Home” is proofed to the nth degree, accepted by the printer people and basically all done for sale. I have pushed the magic button, meaning it will begin selling at Amazon (.com,, .de, .fr, .whatever) in the next week or so. Shortly thereafter book stores and libraries can start buying it.

I have also ordered my own copies to sell within Sweden, by hand and through mail, and they will arrive at around October 10. In other words, everyone who’s pre-ordered it will get it around October 14.

Starting as soon as I get it, you will be able to order it online at

Update on second edition of ”Home”

I’ve now finalised pretty much everything for the second edition of my book Home, the first wider edition. There’s a great deal of internal changes with approximately 10-15 % brand new content, design changes, and a great new cover design by Louise Qvarfordt.

If all goes as planned I will have the second edition available for sale in at the most two weeks from now.

The book will be sold through this website as well as through Amazon and some other online book stores. The standard price will be at $12.00 / £7.40 / €8.80 / 75 SEK.

I’m already taking pre-orders – if you’re interested, comment below or send me an email at, and you will get the book as soon as I do.

Book release of ”Home”

My new book ”Home” is finally being released. You can get it as an e-book through, and within a week I will start selling it as paperback.

As described on the website:

A story about obsession, hate, jealousy, love, pain, art, life, death, and the search for a never-ending, never-dying home. But most of all a story about Her.

”Home” is the 30-day memoirs of the search for closure, of the search for a home, of the end of something beautiful. A strange mix of poetry, short stories, biography and fiction.

Visit where you can also see a bunch of excerpts.

Day n-1: Death

A section from my (hopefully) upcoming book, ”Home”.


I have been thinking a lot about Death.

Yes, I guess that’s how this chapter starts after all. I guess it’s the cleanest way. The most honest way. I’ve been thinking a lot about Death.


When I was about eight or nine, my great grandmother, who I love dearly and who I will always love dearly, was… there was something wrong. I can’t remember the circumstances, being so young, but as I remember it the idea was floating around that it probably was cancer. That she was dying. They were pretty sure.

It was expected. She was old, just around eighty or so. Past her life expectancy.

At the time I was still religious (in some shape or form, read more in whatever chapter I wrote about religion). More than that, I was still a child. I have grown away from the concept of childhood since, I think, even though I might not want to admit it (see, I admitted it). So, I was a child, and, like most children, childish. And, in being childish, I believed, in some shape or form, in magic and miracles.

When I was told (or learned or something, I don’t remember) about my great grandmother’s illness (or whatever it was), I prayed. I prayed for a miracle, I prayed for a cure, I prayed for something to be a mistake. I prayed for her to live. I prayed for her to stay with us. With me.

The day after, I learned that it had been a mistake. She did not have cancer. Something was weird, but it was alright – it just seemed like cancer on the surface and when they looked deeper it was alright. She was going to live. She was going to stay with us. With me.

At that time, as you, dear PR, probably guess, I assumed it was my prayer which helped her. In hindsight, I realised that I was wrong. First of all, it is possible if not even likely that this story is all a figment of my imagination. This is how I remember things going, but it’s likely that it really went very differently. It’s just an anecdotal memory of an eight-year-old brain a dozen years later. Second of all (as I discuss in too much detail in the chapters on Science, God, Superstition and other such topics), there’s no such thing as a miracle. There’s no such thing as a cure. There are aweinspiring advances in medicine made every year, and we should thank the amazing scientists and doctors for what they accomplish with that, but they are only postponing the inevitable –

Death comes to all of us.

Death comes to all of us.

Death comes to all of us.


I have been thinking a lot about Death.

When I was thirteen, a classmate of mine was killed by a large wave of water crushing his body, killing him instantly. It was the 2005 tsunami, and my friend was in Thailand. I knew he was there when it happened, but only learned that he had been a victim a week or so later. I remember my mother telling me after she had taken the call. I remember not being surprised.

In hindsight, ofcourse I was surprised. My friend had died. But I had no concept of what it meant. I had no idea of what Death was. I was only thirteen, and apart from my paternal grandfather, who I had had absolutely no contact with, I had had absolutely no contact with Death.

After trauma you often go into denial, and only later crash down completely. I did so after learning my father had been in a drunk driving accident. I did so after my most severe break-up, for that matter, not realising what had actually happened until later.

The scary thing is, I don’t remember crashing after my friend died. I can still see his smile and I can still remember him much better than I can remember any other classmates I had at the time. I feel like we are closer now than we were when he was alive. And we were never that close. Death took him away, and I don’t think I ever even realised it. I don’t think I was ready. I think I am now. I am waiting to learn that any of my close friends or my brother or my father or my mother or my great grandmother has died, I am waiting to hear it and to crash. In some sense I want to crash. In some sense I want to feel it. I want it to destroy me.

In some ways I still feel guilty for never crashing after my friend died. Some days I regret not going to his funeral, even though I know he’s gone and don’t mind.

It’s not only strange to imagine he has gone. It’s impossible. I am slowly starting to realise, day by day, that Death is a real thing and not an imaginary monster god in a Lovecraft mythos. I am slowly starting to realise, day by day, that Death is coming, and that Death is eternal.

Death comes to all of us.

Death comes to all of us.

Death comes to all of us.


When I was maybe five or six, I lay in bed trying to sleep when
I suddenly realised that Death is for all of us.
The concept had never truly struck me before, but now it did.
I started to cry and I ran to my parents’ bedroom.
I told mom what had made me cry.

She embraced me and didn’t let me go. I think she cried too. I think she too realised – even if not for the first time – the horrifying concept in it all.

Even the most religious person must find it hard to one hundred percent believe in an afterlife.

Everyone, everyone, everyone, will be scared to look beyond the veil. It is easy to imagine a paradise.

It is easy to imagine hell.

It is even easy to imagine, like I long did, an emptiness to stand in. I long imagined Death to be an empty hall for me alone, where I could never again talk, or read, or run, or explore

I cried for hours the day I realised how wrong I was.

Death is not only an emptiness to stand in. Death is an emptiness. Death is nothing. Death is an end.

There is an old, possibly aprochyful story about a believer who asks a non-believer where we go when we die, if there is no afterlife. The non-believer (and I have heard many famous names attributed, I have no idea who it really was or if it really took place), is supposed to have said

“When I die,

I go to the same

place where I was

before I was born.”


This is truly horrifying in my mind. It is not only a life changing abruptly. It is not a prison camp. It is not eternal sleep. It is nothing. It is a moment of last chance of thought, and then nothing. Nothing. Nothing.


For in that sleep of Death, what dreams may come?

I see, I hear, none more, none less, none now.

Forever and always, together in life,

An end to all eternal stuff of dream, of love,

Of legend.

And end to all adventures, thoughts and hopes,

of Her.


To love, to dream, to dream no more

To sleep

Ay, there’s the rub.

To dream, to love, to love no more

To Die.

Ay, there’s the

Christopher Hitchens – Mortality (2012)

Author: Christopher Hitchens (1949 – 2011)
Title: ”Mortality”
Publisher: Atlantic Books
About 100 pages. £6.59 on Amazon. Read it.

It took me a long time to digest ”Mortality” before sitting down and writing this review. In short, this is a non-fiction tale of a man’s battle with cancer (or rather, as he would put it, cancer’s battle with him) and his ultimate death.

Whether or not you like Chris Hitchens’ philosophy, views on religion and his politics (I like many others agree with his views on religion but despise many of his political views), you should read this book. ”Mortality” is a collection of essays and short scribles Hitchens wrote in his last year (2010-2011) after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. True and from the heart, the reader can – at least to some extent – understand what it feels like to suddenly realise your own mortality.

The book deals (to a much lesser extent) with the thoughts of dying as a non-believer, fairly certain that nothing is to come after the final breath, that this is it. The book consists of seven essays written in Hitchens’ life time, and ends with an eight chapter of ”fragmentary jottings […] left unfinished at the time of the author’s death”.

Read it. Read it. Read it.

Books of June 2012

These are the books read in June. As with May, it’s been kind of slow due to school and work.

  • Patrick Rothfuss: “The Name of the Wind: The Kingkiller Chronicle Day One” (2007)
    • “The Kingkiller Chronicle” quickly became one of the best fantasy series I have ever read. The first book is an excellent beginning, sharing the story of a legendary life as told much after the hero’s haydays are over. Rothfuss manages to make a very believable, almost biographical fantasy story, with believable magic and true characters, while simultaneously creating an exciting and beautiful story.
  • Harry Harrison: “The K-Factor” (1960) [audio book]
    • The book quite honestly was extremely boring and almost non-existant. I barely remember it at all. Maybe it just wasn’t for me, but I didn’t enjoy it at all.